Performing can be the most wonderful thing in the world, yet it can also be nerve wrecking… Here are my tips for you to create a mindset that supports you!
You can choose to be in the moment and actively decide to stay away from your inner critic (most of us have one, big or small) or lovingly pat your inner critic on the back saying: “Yes, I know a lot of things can go wrong, but I’m doing it anyway.”
For some, nerves can come from previous experiences. You may feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins (I certainly know that feeling). The great part is, you have a choice in interpreting this rush. Is it going to help you, or is it going to sabotage you?
To get the most out of this ‘pre-peak performance’ situation: decide on a state that really supports you. Think back to a situation you felt really powerful and capable and try to translate that feeling to the moment you are in now.
It may be helpful to use phrases like:
- “I look forward to sharing this song with you”
- “Let’s have fun”
- “I simply loooove being here with you”
- “I simply love playing with this band”
- ”I can do this”
- or simply say “Yaaaaaay!”
If it helps you to get into the mood that supports you, just do it! Focus on what you share with your musicians and your audience, focus on your intention, on the fun, on the good things. This will help you calm down and help you feel (more) confident. Breathe low and smile, as this will also relax you.
Your audience will (subconsciously) reflect on the emotions you express or that you try to suppress. If you let your nerves rule you, your audience will know. Always be aware that your audience picks up on two things all the time: your intent and your intensity. The intent is your reason for singing the song, what you hope the effect your song will have on the listener. Intensity is the size, the power or energy which you put in the actual performance.
We all have heard stories of famous singers or actors who, in the few moments just before showtime, ask themselves why in the world they are doing this to themselves. The nerves are nearly killing them. I’ve been there too. Have you?
Ask yourself a few simple questions:
Am I afraid to make mistakes?
Am I afraid they won’t like me?
Am I afraid I don’t know what to say?
- When you are anxious about making mistakes: trust on your skills (you have been studying), trust your band and trust on your improvisation skills. Don’t try to be perfect! Let the magic happen. Surprise yourself. Have fun! Let yourself go!
- When you are afraid they won’t like you: well, it depends on the sort of venue you are singing. A jazz singer in a heavy metal house could be a particular combination.
I have sung between pinball machines and snooker tables, at Western saloon bars or at big parties and felt a bit unfit. I’ve also sung in the tiniest cafe’s, in the Amsterdam ‘Bijlmer bajes’ (the biggest jailhouse) or wonderful clubs and felt very welcome. It so depends on the overall music selection of the venue, the way your concert is being promoted and the way you address your audience.
- When you are uncertain about having eye contact with people in your audience: I say it’s a big YES. Do make eye contact. Check to see friendly faces, look for friendly eyes, this will relax you and will make you feel more at ease. And your audience will love it.
- When you are afraid you are lost for your words between songs: practice, practice, practice and prepare. Check on other performers. How do they address an audience? Be inspired. And be you!!
Magical thinking
In the end, it all comes down to good preparation. Practice, take every necessary measure to avoid stress and failure. Then let go and have fun on stage. Stage is for fun. The time before it is for doing, not worrying.
Worrying is either a desperate attempt to avoid hard work or a result of having avoided it. Worrying is ‘magical thinking’; hoping for a miracle. Hoping to avoid the inevitable – namely, you’ll only be as good or bad as your preparation.
Instead; practice and prepare. Then you can let go on stage – since you’ve done everything you could do. Be proud and enjoy.
Just in case: ginger tea (get the good stuff – but in handy tea bags you can bring with you) works wonders on your nerves and stomach. Just one cup, about 1 hour (but at least 30 minutes – to give you time to get used to the relaxing sensation) before going on stage.
If herbal tea isn’t your cup of tea :) and you’re used to drinking alcohol – have a (small!!!) drink to relax and get in the right mood.
Mind you; a couple of good deep breaths every once in a while works just as well! How to take a good deep breath? Turn the palms of your hands towards your front – that is pointing in the direction you’re looking – and breath in. That way you’ll mostly use the lower part of your upper body for breathing. Which results in a deep relaxing breath.
Yes, it’s that simple…
Assignment
- Find your personal supportive phrase.
- Write down what you fear the most, why, and what you could do about it.
